Month: October 2025

Starting November 1st, the NCAA will allow college athletes to place bets on professional sports (Chronicle of Higher Education, October 22nd online).

“With all that Name, Image, and Likeness money these kids are getting nowadays,” says NCAA President Charlie Baker, “they need more stuff to spend it on.  I mean, how many fancy sports cars with alpaca-fur interiors can a college freshman buy?  Isn’t it better that these young people develop a chronic gambling problem from their newfound riches, rather than a disabling cocaine addiction?  By taking this step, the NCAA is doing its part to fight homelessness.  I just hope we get credit for it.”

Lifting the ban on pro sports betting is just the beginning, says Baker.  In January, NCAA athletes will be permitted — indeed, encouraged — to bet on the college team they play for, as long as they bet on that team to WIN.  

“What better way to motivate players to give their best on the field or on the court?  Hell, why didn’t we think of doing this years ago?”

In a related development, the Business School at the University of Michigan now offers undergraduate students three academic credits for every $1,000 they wager on FanDuel. 

“Betting on sports is a great way to learn about microeconomics,” notes Sharon Matusik, Dean of the Ross School of Business.  “And it relieves professors of a thankless task: reading AI-generated term papers.  What’s not to love?”

 

Uh-oh, there’s a new college and university accreditor in town — the Commission for Public Higher Education, supported by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis — and the academic community is abuzz with speculation over the possibility that a conservative Trumpian agenda could be injected into the review process (Chronicle of Higher Education, October 14th online). 

This concern would certainly seem to be warranted, given the questions posed by the 10 Accreditation Standards the Commission plans to implement.  Here they are:

1. Governance:  Is the President’s office trimmed in gold?  And the President’s desk — is it sculpted from a gold slab?  What about the paper clips and doorstops?  Are they gold?  Overall, is there enough gold?
2. Athletics:  Does the institution have a Division I football team that’s competitive?  Have all the cheerleaders been vetted to ensure that they look — and bounce — like either Pam Bondi or Kristi Noem?  Where is cheerleader underwear kept when it’s not being worn?  Is that underwear gold, or some other color?
3. Campus Safety:  Is a Pete Hegseth National Warrior Unit permanently located on campus to quell food insurrections orchestrated by Antifa activists?  Does the unit possess a tank, missile launcher, and limited nuclear capability?
4. Support Services:  If a dormitory student has a dream at 2:00 am about a radical left faculty member urging him or her to become “trans,” is there a number at the Counseling Center the student can call to get help?  Will that faculty member be arrested and prosecuted to the full extent of the law, and beyond?  
5. Curriculum:  Can each and every course at the school be completed without reading a book?
6. Library:  Has the institution’s library been converted to a valet parking garage for Name, Image and Likeness (NIL) donors?  If the answer is “no,” when will it be?
7.  Worship:  Do all in-person and Zoom-based class sessions begin with a Christian prayer, Bible reading, and communion?  Are plans to eliminate in-person courses moving ahead expeditiously?
8. Campus Resources:  Are service alligators provided to vision-impaired students who work part-time as ICE agents?  
9. Faculty:  Do all professors, both full-time and adjunct, abide by the mandate to employ air quotes whenever they utter the word “science” in class?  By the way, why are faculty even using that word?
10. Student Body:  Are applicants to the institution accepted solely on the basis of merit?  For meritorious white applicants who can’t spell “merit,” is assistance in completing required paperwork available from the Admissions Office?  What percentage of students pay their tuition in gold?

Stay tuned.  The months to come should be interesting.