“This Touchdown Was Brought to You by the Buffaloes, the Official Football Team of the University of Colorado…”

TRUE FACT #1:  After Deion Sanders became head football coach at the University of Colorado in December 2022, 41 scholarship players on the team left the school via the transfer portal.

TRUE FACT #2:  During that same period, 50 players from other schools used the portal to join the University of Colorado football team.  (DraftKings Network, September 2nd online).  

The Buffaloes, who were 1-11 in 2022, are 3-0 so far this season.  

That was STEP ONE.

Yesterday, the University’s Chancellor, Philip DiStefano, announced STEP TWO, which will take effect next year. 

According to DiStefano, “On January 1, 2024, the University of Colorado will no longer require members of its football team to be enrolled as students at the school.  Simply put, we’re looking for young men who want to play football and are good at it.  We will not discriminate against applicants who may be ‘academically dim’ or have no interest in going to college.  

“Football is not about Renaissance Poetry, World History, or Organic Chemistry.  It’s about football — full stop.  Would you insist that a Professor of Political Science know how to execute a screen pass or a flea flicker?  Of course not.  Then why should we expect a free safety to know the author of Moby Dick or the origins of World War II?  

“Severing the link between student status and football participation will represent a quantum leap forward for both higher education and college football.  In the same way that Hyundai is the Official Car of the NFL, the Buffaloes will be the Official Football Team of the University of Colorado.  It’s just that the players won’t necessarily be students at the University of Colorado.  Is that so hard to understand?  

“At 11:00 pm on January 1st I will be able to go to bed and sleep soundly — with a clear conscience — for the first time since I became Chancellor of this institution.  The days of enrolling our football players in 3-credit courses on how to heat soup in a microwave will be over.  I look forward to long nights of dreaming about gorgeous meadows filled with puppies and butterflies.”

Take note, presidents of colleges and universities across the nation.  You have nothing to lose but your Ambien.