The Senate Committee on Curricular Affairs at Penn State University has passed a resolution that calls for the school to stop using gendered terms such as “freshman,” “junior,” and “senior.” The resolution recommends that the descriptors “first-year,” “second-year,” “third-year,” and “fourth-year” be employed instead (Daily Collegian, May 5th online).
Inspired by this faculty decision, colleges and universities across the country are transitioning to less volatile vocabularies when referring to their student bodies. Here are five examples from the past two months:
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Freshmen → Sentient Meat 1
Sophomores → Sentient Meat 2
Juniors → Sentient Meat 3
Seniors → Sentient Meat 4
Oral Roberts University
Freshmen → Jesus Kittens
Sophomores → Madonna Meerkats
Juniors → Lieges of the Lord
Seniors → Satan Stabbers
Harvard University
Freshmen → The Grateful
Sophomores → The Arrogant
Juniors → The Gratefully Arrogant
Seniors → Platinum Donors
U.S. Military Academy
Freshmen → Water Pistols
Sophomores → Super Soakers
Juniors → Surface-to-Air Missiles
Seniors → Cannon Fodder
University of Phoenix
Freshmen → Level 1 Borrowers
Sophomores → “How the F**K Am I Ever Going to Pay All This Back?” Insomniacs
Juniors → 7-Eleven Stick-Up Artists
Seniors → Inmates
May is not over. There’s still time to call an emergency meeting of your school’s Faculty Senate.