In early April, Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed an executive order prohibiting public colleges in the state from requiring students to get vaccinated for COVID-19 (Texas Tribune online, April 9th).
Yesterday, the plot thickened.
The Governor has now issued a second executive order, which mandates that every student attending a public college in Texas “must carry a handgun while on campus.”
“It just makes sense,” Abbott insisted in an Associated Press interview. “People who contract the COVID virus almost always become rabid within three days, foaming at the mouth like a freshly poured glass of Guinness Stout. What are you supposed to do if you encounter a raving, infected student as you walk across the school quad — just say hello and let him bite your neck in half? I don’t think so. What you do is shoot the poor bastard between the eyes. It puts the diseased victim out of his misery, and it saves your ass.
“Killing with compassion is much safer than taking some goddamned Communist vaccine that’ll screw up your genetic code, causing your future children to look like furry tadpoles with five nostrils and elbows where their eye sockets should be.
“In Texas, we’re all about keeping kids safe.”
Governor, we’ll tip our Stetsons to that sentiment any day.