TRUE FACT #1: On August 6th, Louisiana State University’s beloved tiger mascot, Mike VII, received his second COVID-19 vaccination (LSU Media Center, August 9th).
TRUE FACT #2: As of August 9th, only 36% of LSU students had been vaccinated. The school has not taken the step of requiring its students to get vaccinated against COVID-19 (Chronicle of Higher Education, August 12th online).
According to LSU officials, Mike VII was not given the option of declining the vaccine.
“This was an executive decision,” claims a high-level LSU administrator who wishes to remain anonymous. “Let’s face it, the cost of replacing a full-grown Bengal-Siberian tiger that’s been felled by COVID can approach $20,000, not including transportation fees. And the last thing our university needs on social media right now is pirated photos showing Mike VII stretched out on a gurney with a ventilator mask covering his snout. The optics are horrific.
“On the other hand, we have a long waiting list of community college students who would be happy to sacrifice a limb to transfer to LSU. So, even if a few of our current unvaccinated students have to drop out for a semester to recover from COVID, we can replace them in less time than it takes for a freshman from New Iberia to guzzle a gallon of Planter’s Punch at a fraternity party on homecoming weekend.
“Do the math, and tell me if I’m wrong.”
University Life did the math.