No Joke: A proposal to expand the NCAA College Football Playoff from 4 teams to 12 teams will be presented on June 22nd to the university presidents and chancellors who oversee the playoff system.
If approved, the new arrangement would undoubtedly lengthen an already long college football season. How can this be accomplished without jeopardizing the precious study time that today’s high-profile student-athletes devote to their courses?
Eric Barron, President of Penn State University and a member of the College Football Playoff’s Board of Managers, believes he has the answer:
Shorten the academic semester for ALL students.
“Really, this is a no-brainer,” says Barron. “A semester usually lasts from 13 to 15 weeks. Trust me, a lot of that time is filled with total crap. I should know. In my days as a full-time faculty member I taught more than my share of crap.
“And let’s be honest. Five years from now, over two-thirds of all Penn State undergrads will probably be majoring in E-Sports. Hell, the content of a typical 3-credit E-Sports course can barely fill two lectures, including the hour it takes to explain our school’s policy on ‘trigger words’.
“Let’s say we cut the semester down to 8 weeks. Everyone could be done with their coursework and exams by Thanksgiving at the latest. That would leave plenty of time to do justice to an expanded football season, with no annoying term-paper assignments floating around to distract players OR non-players. It’s a win-win for all concerned.”
A reporter asked Barron if his proposal constituted additional evidence that capitalism’s rapacious lust for profits continues to dredge every bit of dignity and self-respect from the soul of higher education.
Barron’s brow furrowed:
“So, what’s your point?”