The American Psychological Association announced yesterday that the Rorschach, the world-famous projective test using inkblots, will be replaced on August 1, 2021 by the Critical Race Theory Reaction Inventory (CRTRI).
Administration of the CRTRI is simple: subjects look at a piece of paper or computer screen displaying the phrase “Critical Race Theory” in a box. They are then asked to immediately write down or say the first five things that come to mind in response to the stimulus.
Extensive pilot research demonstrates that political conservatives are likely to give the following answers:
“Instrument of Satan”
“Don’t understand it, don’t like it”
“Kill me now. Please.”
“Worse than fluoride in our water supply”
“Left-wing poopy crap”
“Left-wing crappy poop”
“Whiny Whinerson”
“But some of my best friends have acquaintances who know people who are Black….”
“Old-fashioned racism was good enough for my Confederate ancestors, and it’s good enough for me. Micro-aggressions are for cowards.”
“Can I still hate Asians?”
In contrast, political liberals tend to offer responses such as:
“Explains everything….that has ever happened….anywhere”
“Precocious love child of Michel Foucault and Angela Davis”
“Totally woke”
“Totally dope”
“Totally dope-woke”
“Produces more guilt than Catholicism and Judaism combined”
“Proves that Ivory soap is the devil’s cleanser”
“Needs to be funnier”
“Don’t understand it, do love it”
“This applies to Asians too, right?”
A rubric for scoring the CRTRI is available from the American Psychological Association for $49.95. According to APA President Jennifer F. Kelly, an individual’s score on the CRTRI is the single best predictor of whether that person has a poster of Ayn Rand, Che Guevara, or Mr. Rogers on their wall.