The November 13th hard-copy edition of The Chronicle of Higher Education includes a full-page, two-sided, construction-paper-quality insert highlighting the rankings of the University of Florida on six dimensions, including Innovation Impact (#1), Best Public University (#6), and Best Value in Public Colleges (#2).
That’s all well and good for the Gators, but what can a school do if it doesn’t fare well on the dimensions that are typically ranked by sources such as U.S. News & World Report?
Well, hello, McKinsey & Company! The New-York based consulting behemoth has stepped into the breach. For a flat fee of $75,000, it will track down a publication that has given your college or university a high rating on a dimension that can be used in advertising and recruiting. Here is what they’ve come up with for a few of their recent clients:
— Mississippi State University: 3rd-lowest rate of gonorrhea among undergraduates in the Southeastern Conference (STD Annual Review)
— University of Tulsa: The only school in Oklahoma where over 30% of graduating seniors know the difference between it’s and its (Writers’ Quarterly)
— Gettysburg College: Offers more flavors of Ben & Jerry’s at the Campus Creamery than any other school in Pennsylvania (Lick Monthly)
— DePaul University: Ranked #4 in percentage of deceased alumni who enter the Catholic section of heaven without a forced layover in Purgatory; ranked #6 in percentage of undergraduates whose prayers to God for assistance during final exams are answered directly by a member of the Holy Trinity rather than a low-ranking angel (Vatican Daily)
— Oberlin College: Ranked #5 in percentage of philosophy majors who can distinguish between post-modernism, Post Raisin Bran, and the U.S. Postal Service (Foucault Institute Journal)
— Yale University: Ranked #1 in “Harvard Envy” among top-tier institutions in the Northeast (Center of the Universe Digest)
NOTE: McKinsey will refund, with interest, your $5000 deposit if it fails to find, within 30 days, a publication that ranks your school #5 or higher on something. Seriously, can your institution afford to pass up an offer like this?