No Joke: On August 1st the University of Notre Dame became a “cashless retail environment,” with most purchases requiring either a credit or debit card (Notre Dame News, July 25th).
Not to be outdone, rival Catholic powerhouse Georgetown University has announced that on September 1st it will transition to a prayer-based payment system for everything but tuition.
According to Georgetown President John DeGioia, Catholic students will recite either the Lord’s Prayer or a Hail Mary in front of voice-recognition devices located at check-out counters across the campus. Non-Catholics can choose either a generic prayer (e.g., “Hello, God…”) or an irreverent limerick that references the Pope in some fashion (e.g., “There was a Pontiff name Francis…”).
“By the end of 2025,” says DeGioia, “we should be able to erect a prayer-based power plant at Georgetown that fully meets our institution’s energy needs without relying on fossil fuels. This is the best kind of win-win: fighting climate change while saving souls.”
NOTE: Every retail establishment will offer an Express Checkout Lane for customers not currently stained by mortal sin. These individuals will recite an abridged version of the required prayer (e.g., “Our Father, who art in heaven…Amen” or “Hail Mary, full of grace…goodbye”). As President DeGioa puts it, “at Georgetown, we’re all about incentivizing virtue.”