If you’re wondering how much ransom was paid to the hackers who recently breached the Canvas learning-management system (Chronicle of Higher Education, May 12th online), the answer is: NOT. ONE. DIME.
As it turns out, what the hackers wanted — and got — was not money, but access. Specifically, they demanded that 25 white male college seniors with GPAs less than 1.5 be admitted to the medical school of their choice.
The agreement that was reached stipulated that neither the names of the students nor the identities of the medical schools would be disclosed.
According to Steve Daly, the CEO of Canvas’s parent company, “this was the best outcome for all concerned. Let’s face it: white guys in the United States are having a tough time these days, and we need to find a way to make them productive members of society. Initially, we were concerned that this deal might violate the federal government’s prohibition of DEI activities, but Linda McMahon at the Department of Education told us, ‘not a problem, it’s all good’, because no racial minorities or women would be benefitting. Hell, we’re going to make medical schools GREAT again!”