Few were surprised recently when the University of California at San Diego reported a significant decline over the past five years in the writing and math skills of its admitted students (Chronicle of Higher Education, November 13th online). What is startling, however, are the things these students claim to know that simply aren’t true. Here’s a sampling:
— 42% believe that Shohei Ohtani was the Emperor of Japan during World War II.
— 62% “seriously doubt” that Finland exists.
— 81% claim that the consumption of tofu chicken tenders by pregnant women is the major cause of transgender identification among preteens.
— 54% insist that numbers aren’t real, because you can’t grab onto them in the same way that you can squeeze a chicken tender with your fingers.
— 28% believe that mass shootings would be eliminated if it were illegal for people to get together in groups.
— 92% maintain that French fries grow in the wild in Brittany and Normandy.
— 73% believe that the film “Birth of a Nation” was about the first Caesarean section performed in the United States on the wife of a plantation owner.
— 38% are sure that “World War II” was the second season of “World War I,” a popular fantasy series streamed on Hulu.
— 94% claim that punctuation and grammar rules were created by elementary school teachers to make kids feel stupid.
— 61% believe that 7 of the original Thirteen Colonies began as NFL franchises.
— 81% believe that the Virgin Mary wed Joseph in order to become eligible for Medicaid and SNAP benefits.
Let the remediation begin.