Boys and girls in the Midwest are being asked to take a peek at their nether regions and pick a lane. According to the Iowa Capital Dispatch, students applying to public universities in Iowa “will no longer be able to list their sex as anything other than ‘male’ or ‘female'” on their admissions form (February 20th online).
For those who welcome this return to a simpler time in terms of categorizing people, the news coming out of Vermont this week should provide even more comfort. Beginning on June 1st, applicants to public colleges and universities in the Green Mountain State will have only two options to choose from when indicating their race: WHITE or OTHER.
“It just makes sense,” says a staffer from the Governor’s office who wishes to remain anonymous. “Vermont is the Whitest state in the country. Over 90% of us are paler than pale. We don’t care if you’re Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Black, Asian, a Pacific Islander, or any of those other crazy categories the Census Bureau uses. If you’re not White, you’re going to have a tough time here, unless you’re simply crossing the border into Brattleboro to buy a few bottles of maple syrup. So, all we really need to know is, Are you White — or not White? Our government officials will take it from there.
“Let’s be honest: with President Trump in office, all White folks — the rich, the poor, the smart, the mind-numbingly stupid — are getting their mojo back. No one should be surprised.”